My Relationship with Social Media

I think by this point, everyone knows the mental drag social media has on our society. I also don’t want to speak for anyone when it comes to their relationship with social media, but I wanted to get off my chest some personal struggles with the interface.

Beginning Young

Like most of Gen-Z, social media was a core part of the school social network. Literally I guess. From Snapchat, to Instagram, Facebook, to even iFunny or Tumblr. While I never got hooked on everything, I definitely tried them. After moving to a fancier private-school, for those who know / knew me, it’s not exactly like I was the social butterfly. But even then, I was still using these platforms daily.

While the short-form-video Hook Cycle presented by applications today is nothing compared to the original design of the apps “back in my day”, the barebones was there. Scrolling content, generated by users, originally aimed at seeing what your friends were up to, but then once for-profit companies correlated time spent on the app (Attention), with the amount of ads they can show you. It was over.

Times Are a’Changing

Once TikTok’s founder Bytedance had an algorithm that was able to increase watch-time, it became clear that the next frontier for these companies was fine-tuning such algorithms, to take up as much time in our day as they can. Via creating addiction.

The aspect of our brains they target, is the ravenous need for information. Specifically *randomly-new* information. It’s not like the videos we watch aren’t funny, relatable, or even self-reflective and artful. But, this leads our brain to “search” for these little positive hits in the simplest way possible. TikTok pioneered the simplest way for our brains to “search” — Scrolling.

Once TikTok’s algorithm was reverse engineered, published or however its secret got out, these companies had a way to Hook us in. The effects of which we wouldn’t understand until much later on, with little old me and many others gladly scrolling our malleable little minds away.

Self Reflection

At some point, I came to the realisation that my use of social media had left my control. Even when I wanted to do something else, it kept getting in my way. When I wanted to stop, I was subconsciously coming back to Instagram before I even knew what I was doing or could consciously register what I was doing.

Before I properly understood our current understanding of human habits, I self-pitied, hated, and blamed myself for not being able to simply stop. Now, with my understanding of User Experience Design and the psychological frameworks being used to make products more and more addictive. How these companies use Nir Eyal’s Hook Cycle or even basic User Experience surveys to micro-analyse and optimise every little interaction with their app.

So how do you stop?

How I Changed

If you’re a drunk, you go to rehab so you’re not at the pub. If you’re a smoker, you make it difficult to get smokes. If you’re addicted, you do all you can to leave.

I liked social media with all (and I mean all) of my friends available through Instagram. But I hated the control I’d lost in my own life and the time that was wasting away. So I left sometime November 2025. Told people I would be back by January and just, never came back.

My separation from social media sucked for a week or two. It felt lonely. And worst of all, I wasn’t anymore productive then when I was I on social media (which was the excuse I told myself). My projects moved at the same pace, maybe even slower and I just felt like I was spiraling for a bit. Up until I started journalling and I realised something.

It wasn’t about being more productive. At some point, for some reason, I’d lied to myself and told myself it would make myself more productive and was getting upset when that wasn’t the case. I’d lost sight of having more control over my time and had blessed myself with the ability to consciously choose my wind-down activity. I wasn’t wanting be more productive, I wanted control.

Reflecting on Changing

I wouldn’t inherently say “Journaling is better than scrolling on social media” but it definitely has made me feel better than scrolling used to.

As stupid, cringe, and cliche as it feels to type, it does allow me to self-reflect on not just my day, but about myself, my concerns. Sometime’s I don’t even talk about myself (believe it or not) and just write about the latest news in the world, or a concept in my latest project. Or as you may have seen. I just draw

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